The economy is shaping up quite nicely. Pretty much everyone in the middle-to-bottom range is still suffering and we’ve got economists telling you it’s getting better. It’s not, duh. We lie. A lot. It’s one of our things. Sure, not everyone believes us 100% of the time, but we convince enough people to make it…
Year: 2010
The Art of Conspiracy
People try to blame my organization for things all the time. I get daily summaries of these on my desk every morning. I usually read these shortly after permanently disfiguring an intern with a flying cup of boiling hot coffee and fixing myself a cup of tea. Yes, I drink tea. The coffee is just…
White Asparagus Price to Rise
A report came across my desk this morning that concerned me. Mostly because of the spelling errors and lack of coherent thought, but also partly because it seems to be indicating that we will soon run out of white asparagus unless we drastically change our procurement techniques. Now, you must be wondering it’s possible that…
Killer Hamsters “Escape”
I’m sure you’ve been wondering where I’ve been. Maybe even waiting with bated breath hoping I would come back and enthrall and berate you some more. Well you sick bastards, here I am. Anyway, I’ve been busy touring our many research operations throughout the world. I’m happy to report that things are coming along nicely…