One important aspect of my job is determining the effect of our actions on the morale of the unsuspecting public. Recently, we tried to use complex emotional and developmental algorithms, but that required the computing power of the human brain and it turns out that the human brain isn’t much more powerful than a thousand…
Vince Offer
Vince Tries to Slap Chop It Up to Me
Those who pay any kind of attention while fast-forwarding through commercials have seen our evil little leprechaun hocking a new product. Quite clearly, the Slap Chop is an attempt to gain favor with the Illuminati. Now, we’ve decided not to make a decision about this based on my present mood, since doing so would most…
You Demented Freaks
I love you. I really do. I’m not screwing with you, either. After WordPress upgraded to 2.7, something which I never cared to notice became hilariously apparent. When it comes to the two most popular posts on this blog, between our Obama announcement and our expose on Vince Offer – Obama nabbed 61% of the…
ShamWow – Shammy Suckage
The Illuminati have completed an investigation into ShamWow and Vince Offer. “Investigation” might be a stretching it a little bit. “Little bit” as in “beyond the limits of reality.” We pronounced them guilty before Vince was a tickle in his daddy’s pants. For those who are still sober enough to read, ShamWow and Vince Offer…