Wolverpus Escapes

Early yesterday morning, my beloved wolverpus escaped from his cell during a routine feeding. After gorging himself on the idiot intern who left the door unlocked, he manipulated the elevator system into allowing him roof access and leaped to a nearby building. By the time the black helicopters arrived to subdue him with the hash…

Lizard Impossible

This year marks the tenth anniversary of the Illuminati’s plan to destroy the Food Network. Now you may be wondering why we would choose to do such a thing and you should already know the answer to this: Because we can. Yeah, it’s good to be me. So anyway, you must want to know what…