The Week the Wheels Came Off: Part 2

I warned you that I would be back with more and yet here you are. You can’t get enough. Under normal circumstances, we were plagued with equipment failure. For instance, we had a printer that would jam constantly.  We had an inventory gun that wouldn’t scan things more than a few inches away and would…

The Week the Wheels Came Off: Part 1

As you are already aware, I did a six-year stint as an undercover operative in a menial job.  This was by choice, as I thought I could do a lot of damage in a short period of time.  Needless to say I did.  Retail was flying high when I started and now all the companies…

Your Spam Isn’t Even Clever

I caught a spam comment the other day that was just so illiterate that I seriously thought that it might have been written by a high school senior: JOIN THE GREAT ILLUMINATI BROTHER HOOD TODAY AND LIVE A BETTER AND HAPPY LIFE. WELCOME TO THE GREAT TEMPLE OF RICHES AND FAME. Bitch, please, We never…

Hannaford Online Shopping: Half a Level of Hell

I recently had someone bury my personal shopper after a long battle with stupidity.  It’s apparently possible to be too stupid to live and that guy proved it. So, ever since then I’ve had to buy my own groceries.  I can’t stand real grocery stores since people block the aisles and you spend more time…

Fields of Penises

I was honestly not going to write anything today.  I’ve been busy spiking romaine lettuce with  E.coli,  announcing store closures and then there’s that whole blizzard thing on the east coast.  Busy week.  But then while I pouring boiling hot maple syrup over an intern’s backside, it occurred to me that what we all really…

I Have My Own Scheduling Assistant

My schedule isn’t necessarily busy enough to warrant it, but it’s nice to not have to think about where to fit in the various necessities of life.  I used to keep my own schedule but I would plan then re-plan my day so often that the eraser would eventually go right through the page.  My…

Theme Change!

New year, new look? Unfortunately, yes.  Two months ago, I went through the trauma of losing the Contempt WordPress theme. I eventually found a new theme that was very much in my wheelhouse: Big Brother. But, I hadn’t received an update in two months, and a niggling little part of me wanted to know why. …

You Didn’t Join the Illuminati

I happened across a blog post in the WordPress Reader titled I Joined The Illuminati?! and I feel the need to clarify for this poor person (and everyone else) what their status with the Illuminati really is. I guess I could have done this in a reply or something but I need to write something…